Where do you share your marriage lessons? My husband and I are celebrating nine years of marriage this year. Those of you with double-digit anniversary numbers are probably rolling your eyes at me, and those of you with one or two years of marriage under your belts may think I might know a little about what I’m talking about.
It didn’t take long for the marriage lessons to begin
After nine years we are still figuring it out and still failing and succeeding on a regular basis. However, I have learned a few things over the last nine years:
1. I didn’t marry my best friend.
Ugh, but that’s the standard phrase, right? When someone gets engaged or posts an anniversary pic, it’s usually captioned with “married my best friend” or something along those lines. In my case, it’s not true. I didn’t marry my best friend.
I met my best friend when I was six years old, and she is still my best friend today. She knows every detail of my life, from my first kiss down to my deepest secrets. When we get together, we giggle about that first kiss and talk about past boyfriends, Spring Break road trips, how my feet stink after a few hours of wearing my new Toms, how bad my cramps were with my last period, and how sometimes we feel like punching our kids in the nose (which we don’t, just for the record). We check out each other’s questionable moles, give honest feedback on whether that new dress makes our butts look big, and occasionally talk about how our husbands are driving us nuts but we love them anyway.
She doesn’t want to snuggle with me or kiss just for fun. She wouldn’t rub my feet unless there was a medically necessary reason. She thinks my kids are great but no doubt favors hers over mine.
That’s my best friend.
I married my lover, my partner. We snuggle and talk about how our kids are the best (and best-looking) things in the entire world. He rubs my feet (after a shower), and we work through the details of living a life side by side. We stress over bills together and work out what hurts deep in our hearts.
My husband doesn’t want to hear about my stinking Tom’s feet. Trust me—he’s well aware of them. He won’t tell me that my butt looks big in the new dress because he loves and fears me at the same time. He won’t investigate my questionable mole but will recommend I see a doctor, and he never, ever talks about my first kiss because, ewww.
I have the best friend a girl could ask for and have no desire to marry her. When I met my husband, she was the first person I wanted to tell that I had found the person I wanted to spend my life with, have children with, and call my husband, because those are the exciting things you share with your BFF.