Why Saying “I’m Sorry” Can Crush Your Daughter’s Confidence

I’m evasive when you ask me for help because I don’t know how to say, “WOW, I think God has gifted me for just that! I’d love to.” See. I’m afraid to seem self-righteous.

Worse than this, I realize that offering disclaimers has become second nature to me. I offer them even when I don’t feel any of those things. I virtually cannot open the door to my home without disparaging some aspect of its cleanliness, even if it is pristine.

What am I teaching my daughters? At what point are they going to lack the confidence to strap on some goggles and a tutu? At what point are they going to question themselves? Their opinions? Their abilities? Their correct answers? At what point are they going to begin their answers with, “This is probably wrong, but …”?

All this has led me to one definitive conclusion. I’m giving up disclaimers for good.

Normally people give up some vice like Coke or chocolate, that they immediately readopt on Easter Sunday. Some people might abandon a habit (like Facebook) in an effort to bring balance to their lives. But I want to kick this disclaimer habit altogether.

I want to proclaim the truths of my life and my identity without shame. I am who I am, fearfully and wonderfully made with a fabulously normal life, full of foibles and faux pas. I want to be able to greet people openly without false modesty, pride, artifice or guile.

Welcome to my life, Friend. I hope you feel as comfortable here as I do. Let me move this pile of laundry so you can sit down. Would you like to help me fold?

Katrina Ryder
Katrina Ryder
Katrina Ryder is a mom of three, writer, speaker, and former teacher and missionary who enjoys sarcasm and Jesus among other things. She blogs at KatrinaRyder.com.

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