The Secret Life of Mommies

“This is one of those things that no one probably realizes I do,” I say to myself as I tediously cut a post it that I am using as a temporary label to stick to my daughter’s dresser drawer. I don’t think much people give any thought to what it takes to organize a child’s clothes. Or five children for that matter. Trading out clothes based on season or size, storing them up to be passed down, or simply trying to lay them in the drawer neatly all fall into the category of things I wonder if my husband notices I do.

As mom’s we all want to be validated. We work hard. We just want a pat on the back every once in awhile. So for anyone who has ever been asked, “Just what do you do all day?” Here is the answer.

We are secret agents. Most of what we do is done under the wire. Behind closed doors. We are warriors that fight 2 year old wanna-be dictators. Generals that are delegating a small army of tiny humans while still trying to teach them how to love and be kind.


I am reminded of that little poster that used to say all the things a mom is: a nurse, a taxi driver, a teacher, ect… while all that is true, I still don’t think it does a mom justice.

There is a lot to our job that is physical, like the driving, the cooking and the cleaning. But what about the mental work? There is SO much mental work to being a mom.

 A lot of SHOWING and a lot of FIGHTING.

All day, among the cooking, cleaning, dressing, bathing and what not there is just so much “showing”. Our kids will learn by our example more than anything we ever tell them.

Every day, we are showing our kids how to use manners.

We are showing them love and warmth along with discipline and self control.

We are showing them how to treat the things we own (like our furniture or toys) with respect so they will last longer.

We are showing them that cleaning out the van is worthwhile because it’s part of being grateful for what we are blessed with.

We are showing them good work ethic and the pride of a job well done every day while they fight us on chores.

We are showing them how to love their siblings and grow in their relationships, since we know that  one day when you’re dead and gone they will be all they will have left.

And as a mom, there are battles that are almost always unseen by others.

The fight to look your kids in the eyes and put down your phone. (Ya I went there.)

The fight to control your temper, so you can show them how to self-regulate.

The fight to resist putting your own needs over your childrens’, however that might look like: reading them another book before bed even though it might cut into your “me-time”.

The fight to get up in the morning to take them to school instead of sleeping in- even though most of us do it daily, doesn’t mean it’s easy.

The fight to stop being afraid of every. single. thing.  Sex trafficking, kidnapping, terminal disease, accident, tragedy or even the common virus.

Do you think any of those things just simply “don’t happen” naturally? Heck no! You have to fight all of those things at some point. And you will be tired if you don’t fight right. Prayer and leaning on God is the only way to fight these battles, win them, and trust the losses to Him.

So that’s what I do all day. I fight. I win and lose. But I don’t stop fighting because the adult versions of my children are at stake. And I know you fight too. So when someone asks what you do all day, smile and know that you don’t really need to tell them. One day when your kids are grown, your faithful service to them will speak for itself. Until then, cut your little post its, organize tiny clothes, wipe snotty noses and give that tired lookin’ mama at Target a high five. We got this ladies. secret life

Laura Dye
Laura Dye is a wife to an amazing man and a mama to five rambunctious munchkins. She has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and currently stays home to chase around her kids and snuggle her babies. She loves Jesus and loves to write about how He rescues her from insanity whenever she can at the Jelly Side Down Blog. For more from Laura, follow her Facebook page, Jelly Side Down Mom.

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