I’m usually very up on the kids movies that are coming out because I love to review movies in this online space for parents, but the past few weeks have been mind-bendingly busy for my family, and I completely missed that a new kids movie called Show Dogs came out this weekend. The premise looks cute, so I’m glad I missed it: at any other time I probably would have seen an online trailer and just taken my seven-year-old with me to see the Show Dogs Movie when I watched it for my review.
Turns out, it appears the Show Dogs movie has some problems.
After what I’ve learned about it from another parent review, I am SO GLAD my son did not see this movie. Let me explain. Terina Maldonado, parent reviewer for the Macaroni Kid website DID take her kids to see an advanced screening of the movie as part of her job with Macaroni Kid…but she came away with some seriously BAD feelings about the movie. I’ll let Maldonado explain in her own words.
It all started out fine, she says:
“The premise is great for a kids movie. Max is a talking police dog (voiced by Ludacris) who is paired up with a human partner, Frank (Will Arnett) to infiltrate a prestigious dog show and rescue a kidnapped baby panda. Being a tough dog from New York, Max has no business competing in a dog show but uses his street smarts to outperform the competition to get closer to the inner circle of kidnappers. Along the way, Max learns lessons about trust and the need to accept help from others. The usual hilarity ensues with dog farts, bites on the rear-end, and slap-stick bonks to the head which elicit giggles from the audience. “
It’s when Max the police dog learns what he has to do to truly go undercover and be accepted as a legitimate show dog that the trouble with this movie starts. WHAT does Max (and apparently all the show dogs) have to submit to?
Having his private parts touched and inspected. Yep. Maldonado continues:
“What could have been solely a fun movie for kids that would get my highest recommendation is damaged by a dark and disturbing message hidden, not so subtly between the fluffy dogs and glamorous parties of the show dog lifestyle. As part of any dog show, contestants are judged on their abilities and physical attributes. One part, in particular, is the inspection of the dog’s private parts.”
Max, of course, is NOT cool with this, and when his partner Frank and a former champion show dog try to get him to accept this process, a certain dark and very dangerous theme for kids emerges. Maldonado explains:
“Since the inspection of the private parts will happen in the finals, Frank touches Max’s private parts to get him use to it. Of course, Max doesn’t like it and snaps at Frank for him to stop. Max is then told by the former champion, who has been through the process before, that he needs to go to his “zen place” while it happens so he can get through it. More attempts are made by Frank to touch Max’s private parts, but Max is still having trouble letting it happen and keeps snapping at him.”
Max needs to get it together, see, and LET PEOPLE TOUCH HIS PRIVATE PARTS, or he might lose the competition and fail at his mission to rescue the kidnapped panda.
Do you see what’s happening here? Max’s success is riding on whether or not he lets both his partner (for practice) and a stranger (the competition judge) touch his private parts.
IN A KIDS MOVIE. WHAT???
