Marriage & Motherhood Won’t Complete You: ‘The Answer Is Always the Same. It’s Always Him.’


Life is never 100%.

When I was in high school, I thought college would get me there. When I was single, I thought marriage would. When I was childless, I thought a baby was the answer. And as a military spouse, I have often thought the right location would push us over the edge to that magical place of complete bliss.

Don’t get me wrong, all of these things have enhanced my life and brought joy. But with each new milestone achieved, box checked, has also come new challenges, and sometimes disappointments and worst, heartache.

And I can’t help but think that it’s supposed to be this way.

I don’t think we are meant to feel complete here on earth, not because we have a God that is malicious, but it is this incompleteness that keeps us longing. Only, we are supposed to long for the things He longs for.

We can get caught up in trying to fill in the gaps with things that don’t matter, things that will only serve to bring temporary highs—diets, clothes, and grown-up toys, instead of substance.

But if we can get to this place where our incompleteness keeps us striving for the things that matter, I think that’s the closest we can hope to get to 100% this side of heaven.

If we fill the longing with being generous, if we fill it by bringing healing to this place, if we fill the longing with a relationship with Him instead of a relationship with worldly status—we realize no circumstance can ever fill in the gaps.

So, I have stopped thinking it’s the next step that will get me closer to happiness. And I’ve started to focus on where my feet are now, how can they get me closer to peace and purpose today, and the answer is always the same.

It’s always Him.

**This post was written by Jillian Benfield and originally appeared on her Facebook page. See more from Jillian on her website.

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Jillian Benfield
Jillian Benfield is a former TV News Anchor/Reporter, turned military wife and work from home mom. When she was 20 weeks pregnant with her second child, she learned her son had Down syndrome. Now she’s trying to figure out how to juggle a wonderfully sassy toddler and a baby with special needs. She writes at News Anchor To Homemaker.  Jillian’s work has been featured on ABC News, The TODAY Show and Yahoo News. Follow along with her parenting adventures on Facebook!