When You’re Losing Your Cool as a Mom, Remember THIS

I ran into my friend this weekend in the foyer of church after an exhausting day. She had this “my children have maxed out my sweet, gentle, holy patience” kind of look.

I know this overwhelmed feeling well and so do you I’m sure. We called it what it was and we exchanged “hard kid day” confessions. You know about those right?

The times when you are in the safety of a good friend who knows and loves you without restraint or judgement and you can just breathe out the difficulties and exchange the hope and grace you both need to move forward.

There was laughter as we stood there together, because sometimes the constant correcting feels like a favorite song on replay. It can drive a momma to lose her cool.

On the verge of teary-eyes, we found unity and could thank God for where He has us both because this mothering assignment can be brutally testing on our entire being.

This friend of mine does not despair and wears joy like a comfy sweater. We can do that too with the help of the Spirit. I need EXTRA help.

Thank God she is humble enough to say that she may have worn down and showed her kids a bit of what it looks like to be pushed over the edge. We don’t love feeling exasperated and they don’t enjoy the consequences either.

I told her about my ongoing struggles to see consistent growth and obedience in one of my kids and how I tell all of them regularly that when they push me to crazy….there is a good chance I may not handle it well.

Teaching our kids to heed correction for the betterment of their elementary aged self and the future of their strong-willed – determined soul is hard, worth-it work.

For me, it is the hardest job I do because my own struggles are spotlighted. Anyone else?

Most days we can respond with a calm spirit. Please Jesus continue put us back together when we feel like a broken mess of a mother. Amen.  

We have weak moments of raised voices, and locking our momselves in bathrooms or pantries (my personal favorite hiding place). We can’t take any more questions or words in general. We need to drive our vehicle without chaos – sometimes please?

In fact, the most stunningly, compassionate, gentle, mothers lose their stuff on a regular schedule.

The moms who are selflessly giving impossible amounts of patience to kids who need a unique and special kind of grace. They all fall. Some in public and others in private…but they totally do. We all do.

I told my own kids this week, “I can’t be good at everything.” I was sorta kidding, but mostly not. We were never meant to parent in perfection.

We can do our very best and pray without ceasing but even still we fail miserably because we are flesh and not glory – obviously.

We disappoint and we sometimes feel burdened and burned.

We can crumble under the never-ending teaching, pouring out, investing in, and leading our kids into the grace and life of Jesus Christ.

We crumble.

The good news friends, is that in our crumbling into a billion pieces…they see our humanity in our weakness!

They see our need for the God of the universe to come in and meet us right in our junk. He uses every rough patch in the days ahead for them, but mostly for us.

He picks us up.  

I’m here to tell you that your older kids won’t remember your entire “losing your cool” reel. They won’t. I mean my kids can pull out a small handful of really bad parenting days in their 13-18 years that actually stuck with them.

I promise you, I had more than a couple hard days raising three boys close in age and then adding in two more later in life!

If you’ve had a rough week with one or all of your kids, I want you to know that you are not alone.

You are never alone in the ministry called motherhood. Fresh starts can happen with your next breath.

Don’t you dare buy that cheap lie that you are not understood, not worthy of your calling as the mother to your children, and not able to pour into their lives.

Yes, there is always a kinder, consistent, more patient way to correct and gather up order in the house. Lets seek that. Lets pray for self-control when we feel we may have lost it.

Lets allow for our own correction when we are dishing it out. 

Lets allow for our own correction when we are dishing it out. 

Lets allow for our own correction when we are dishing it out. 

I don’t know about you, but I would love to wear joy like a comfy sweater instead of putting on discontent and discouragement.

Motherhood is body, soul, and spirit. It is the all-encompassing way God transforms our lives while we are busy shaping theirs.

In the process, God is removing our ugly and replacing it with a beautiful, but very dependent on Him grace.


This article originally appeared at The Night Howells.

Jenny Howell
Jenny has been married to her high school love, Kris, for 20 years and is the momma of 5. Her heart beats for laughter, mountains, coffee, mentoring gals, and parenting her tribe. You can follow Jenny's writings at her blog: Jenny Howell.  

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