Why Every Mom Needs a Childless Friend

As a single and childless woman, I have often been told by people that I just can’t fully understand the love for a child until I have one of my own. I have to tell you, though, a part of me feels very privileged to be in my position. No one is more important to me than my nieces and nephews. I have not, in my lifetime, felt a rush of love for my own child that is greater than my rush of love for them. I’m not their cousin’s mom. I’m not looking out for someone ahead of them. Those ten people have the unconditional love and support of their parents, and when they aren’t in the mood for that option they have an aunt who has no greater mission in life than to be their biggest supporter, their biggest cheerleader and their most ardent fan. I am in their corner – and there’s no place else I’d rather be.

Actually, I think motherhood should come with a friend who is childless. I think what a mom sometimes wants is for another person to love their child with extreme abandon. A person who doesn’t put another child in front of their own as a measuring stick.

Because let’s be realistic; every mother thinks no child could possibly be more amazing than her own child. And she’s right. Every single mother is right about that. Every child needs a mother who thinks they hung the moon, and every one of those mothers needs someone who will say, “You’re totally right. Your child is absolutely that amazing!”

I get to be that person. And I love it.

When motherhood comes with a childless friend, you get to have someone to tell your woes to who won’t tell you she has it worse with her own kids. You have someone to celebrate your child’s accomplishment with, and the childless friend will think it’s amazing because she has no frame of reference from which to judge it. You have someone you can share your concerns with and she won’t tell you that you’re overreacting, but instead hold your hand while you find out the answers.

Best of all, when you’re a mother that comes with a childless friend, you have someone who will love your child with every inch of her heart. Completely. Because she won’t have her own to trump that space.

I admire each and every one of my friends with children. And I’m so grateful they let me be the childless friend they carry on your journey. Because I wound up being the childless friend with a life full of children – and it’s been the joy of my life.


Sara chose JOY in all areas of her life before passing away and entering Jesus’ arms on September 24, 2011.

You can read Sara’s story in her book, Choose Joy, on Amazon or at TheChooseJoyBook.com.

Sara Frankl
Sara Frankl
Sara Frankl entered into the arms of Jesus on September 24, 2011, but her legacy of Choosing Joy lives on. Sara's writing tells about her commitment to embracing the life God had planned. Her illness stripped her of the potential for a job and family, but that didn't stop Sara from chasing down community. You can read Sara's story on her blog, and buy her book, Choose Joy, on Amazon or at TheChooseJoyBook.com. To assist in continuing Sara's discipleship, visit ChooseJoyFoundation.com.

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