A friend of mine named Bishop Wellington Boone wrote a book I strongly recommend every husband read: Your Wife Is Not Your Momma. Man cannot be joined to his wife until he has left his father and mother.
A real man leaves in the sense that he is now responsible for his own needs and is no longer dependent on his father for protection and provision, and although the love for his mother doesn’t change, he cuts the apron strings and his wife becomes the number-one woman in his life.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Transition in relationship is a natural growth process, but it can be difficult to make adjustments when relational patterns have been established. When we are around the people closest to us, there are things we do and ways we behave that can be detrimental to our marriage. Sometimes new boundaries are needed based on determined values. Change can be painful, but without it we will never grow.
Husbands: Are You the Problem?
Sometimes a man holds on to the apron strings even though Momma has cut him off. There may be an unhealthy emotional dependency. If a man feels the need to confide in his mother all the time or requires a steady diet of affirmation and comfort from her, it indicates an arrested development.
That’s one reason why a mother and father are so important to a child’s development: because of the healthy balance. And for a young man, the father makes the nest uncomfortable. If the father is not there, a boy is forced to grow up without the voice, identity, and influence only a father can provide.
When this is the setting for development, some things tend to be deficient, and a boy can latch on, sipping that momma juice for too long. This is one way a man can become too soft. It doesn’t mean he’s not physically strong or is somehow less than a man, but usually a father trains his son not to be controlled by his emotions.
