Husbands, now that you’re a man, you have no right to claim victimhood based on your upbringing. When you cut the apron strings you are responsible for your actions, and you have the ability to self-assess and deal with any deficiencies of your upbringing by applying God’s Word to your life, getting help where needed, and developing a vision for your life.
I would strongly encourage you to read Zero Victim by James E. Ward Jr. No one has had a perfect upbringing; we all need the salvation provided through the redemptive work of Christ, so we have no excuse to continue in ignorance. As a husband, you must know what and who is priority in your life and establish a tone that will shield your marriage from any threats that could potentially violate healthy boundaries. That’s why we must cut the apron strings.
When the husband fails to create healthy boundaries with his mother, the wife often feels betrayed and neglected. It is important that you open up your eyes and see what you are doing to your wife when you put Momma first. Always remember you are married to your wife, not your momma.
Once you’re married, it’s time for you to leave Momma and cleave to your wife. Don’t create an atmosphere for competition, because although they’re both women in your life, they have completely different roles. On this note, do not compare your mother to your wife—even if your mother is a better cook.
From a biblical standpoint, you are always to honor your mother, but not at the expense of your marriage. As a husband you should leave your mother (cut the apron strings) and cleave to your wife, but too many husbands practice the opposite by clinging on to momma while their wives feel abandoned.
