He thought he could keep you dead and gone and silent and in the ground, but you rise up every. single. day.
My sister was murdered by her husband on May 26, 2010. The world shook and darkened.
Here’s what I’ve learned in the years since her murder.
1. Crying outrageously with snot running down your face is completely normal.
2. The soul leaves the body before you do.
3. Even when you’re not listening, God still whispers your name.
4. Writing words and sentences transforms the spirit into something fierce.
5. Drinking a bottle of red wine a day helps numb the pain, (but it doesn’t last)
6. You do not “get over” missing and mourning a loved one; you only incorporate the loss, one way or another, into your survival.
7. When your sister is murdered, it’s not like losing an arm or a leg or a foot, it’s like losing a heart, a soul, a childhood, an identity, and your own blood.
8. Staying silent about domestic abuse is like signing your own death certificate. Don’t sign it.
9. Have you heard about the sixth sense? USE IT!
10. As Maya Angelou says, “When somebody tells you who they are the very first time, you’d better believe them.”
11. You cannot, I Repeat, CANNOT, change another person. You can only change yourself.
12. Darkness resides within insidious corners.
13. The people you least expect to become angels will grow wings and fly directly into your grief.
14. Family and friends are your oxygen.
15. God Is Not dead.
16. The Devil is not dead. He may be sitting at your kitchen table.
17. Death is not the end.
18. Even though my sister’s body is in the ground, she rises from the soil, the marble, the cemetery every. single. day.
19. There are worst things than dying. For example, living without purpose.