My parents taught me never to say the word hate, but I HATE YOU! In the words of Carly Simon ” you walked into the party, like you were walking on a yacht!” One day I was living my best life and the next day, you strolled in here and threw my anxiety to an all new high with social distancing, and the fear of the unknown. You would think a virus such as yourself wouldn’t be so demanding but you have stolen some of the most precious gifts from myself along with the rest of America and for that I HATE YOU!
Three months ago, I might have been sitting on my couch when out of nowhere the garage door would open. Moments later my parents would walk through the door with dinner or treats for the kids. Now, my parents cannot be within any distance due to their age and my father’s health issues. I cannot give my parents a hug or secretly tell them I want to visit with the ulterior motive of wanting to take a nap while they watched my kids. COVID-19, you see, at a time when my parents are getting older and their days are numbered, you have stolen this simple joy from me. I am thanking the makers of video conferencing daily because without it, I would hate you even more. This may be the hardest part of this isolation.
COVID-19, you have forced multiple businesses to shut down. While I am sad for the whole nation, I’ve watched personally as our daycare owners, whom we love, poured blood, sweat, tears and prayers into their new daycare facility months earlier only to close their doors with such uncertainty. As these glorious ladies sat back and offered to not accept payments for your child’s tuition, knowing that this may hurt their business or their own lives. I’ve sat back and relaxed last week as my friend who worked so hard to open a business was forced to close her doors and put herself on the frontline in the healthcare field in a different state to pay her house payment. She left a job that she dedicated years to, only to head right into to the crisis of the Coronavirus. On the other hand, I sat here praying that the Governor would close healthcare offices for the fear of the health of my family members and friends.
COVID-19, you whisked me away from my students never knowing if I will see them again. You gave me a 24 hour notice to get them prepared to learn online and without me there to help guide them. You have turned me into an email checker and phone call maker and not necessarily a teacher. Yes I’ve uploaded some lessons but we are not mixing chemicals or designing rollercoaster’s which I had planned in the next month. Weeks ago, I hated when they stood up during my science lesson to bust out their new Tic Tok, now I want to see them laugh and dance the day away. You forced me to not only learn how to teach remotely but to be my child’s teacher all while trying to teach my own students. The madness is deafening.
Oh and you pain in the you know what virus, do not get me started on attempting to go to the grocery store. I have to work up enough nerve to walk into a building that I normally loved going to. I’m not sure if I should wear gloves, a full body suit and a face mask or if this time will be me getting lucky enough to get in and get out without contracting the virus. When I get home, am I supposed to wash everything including the boxes? Just when I thought I had my anxiety controlled, you are over here just turning it up like the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes.
To say I hate you is such an understatement however in my heart, I might actually love you a tiny bit. No, COVID-19, do not get a big head at this moment. Do not cross my words here. I do not appreciate the fear, the destruction and deaths you are causing, for that, you still suck. But I may love you for the reminder that life is short and that God only gives us so many days here on this beautiful planet. For the reminder that I am a mom above all else and everything that comes before that, can wait for me to snuggle my babies even if I am supposed to be remotely teaching. COVID 19, you may have reminded America that what is important in life is not the materialistic items, the big wig conference calls or the promotions but the things that are free like health, families, fresh air and faith.
You have taken so much but in the end when this is all over, and I pray it is soon, I hope that America will sit back and realize not to take life for granted. I pray that when they start to slip again in to their busy lives, that they stop for a moment and realize that in the blink of an eye, it could all be gone. That something as tiny as a virus can be so destructive in our lives. I hope that America will plan more family reunions, family game nights and social gatherings in the end. I pray in the face of fear that what you are doing will actually cause so much more good than harm. That this will remind the world to slow down.
A working mom, turned stay at home working mom, who is trying to balance remote teaching, a husband working from home and 4 crazy kids. And the mom who hates your guts but may secretly be thanking you just a bit for the little reminders!
This piece originally appeared at LiveSimplyBlessed.com, published with permission.