Sorry, Kids. Elf on the Shelf is Not Gonna Happen

Also, I feel like every year the elf pressure gets more intense. More of my friends jump onto the elf bandwagon and I am left feeling like a total jerkface because I refuse to start a tradition I have no intention of continuing. OK. Fine. Maybe I’m lame. But think about THIS: what happens when some NEW weird tradition comes along that we all feel pressured to do?

What if the Thanksgiving Turkey on the Shelf becomes a thing and we find ourselves up at night posing a felt-stuffed piece of poultry making a run for it out the back door? What about THAT? Are you gonna do THAT, too, for a month, because I’m definitely not. I’m putting my foot down. I’ll take my kid to see a musical, I’ll take him on a freaking Santa train but I am drawing the line at the Elf and the Turkey That Isn’t Even a Thing Yet But Probably Will Become One and Wow Maybe That’s My Shark Tank Idea, I’m Totally Making That.

Fellow non-elf moms and dads, let us unite in solidarity. Let us look upon the cleverly posed elves in our newsfeeds without judgment and choruses of “ugh.” Let us lift up our hard-working elfing friends and family while cozily sitting on our butts doing all of our Christmas shopping on Amazon. Let us raise a glass to each other in our glorious laziness. We need each other. I am here for you.


This post originally appeared at Come hang out on my blog or chat with me on Facebook and Twitter.

The Dynamom is lighting up the internet with a sensible flameless candle. Her blogs have been featured on The Washington Post, Scary Mommy, Woman's Day, MSN, Huffington Post, POPSUGAR, and more. You can find her at Target.

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