To the mama that’s fighting for your life,
I see you.
You’re struggling, every single day of your life. You’re barely holding on, you’re barely hanging on by a thread. You feel like every day is a struggle; from the moment you wake up in the morning, you are fighting for your life. You are fighting to just survive.
Because you have to. You are somebody’s mother. You are somebody’s warmth and reassurance. You are somebody’s protection and safe-place. You are the snack-maker, the milk giver, the boo-boo kisser. You are the storyteller, the monster fighter, the 24-hour chef, nurse, and cuddler. So you plaster on a smile and march on to your day– all the while wondering deep inside how you will do it all.
You believe that you have to do it all, because that’s what society makes you think. You have to be Super Mom– with your Pinterest inspired crafts, your home-baked goods, and your clever Halloween costumes made from scratch– you have to paint the idea of perfection while you single-handedly are, literally, rotting on the inside. You scrutinize every decision you make because it may have a serious impact on your baby…so you worry. You stress yourself to keep pumping breast milk. You hand make your own baby food although you are exhausted and deep down you know that Gerber is just as good. You scan the internet at odd hours of the night researching terrifying symptoms of scary illnesses that can never ease your anxiety.
Your thoughts consume you and you wonder what is wrong with you. You wonder why you are the only mother on the planet that feels like that. You feel a constant state of loneliness and crippling sadness. Why are you always crying? Why do you feel like you are fighting for your life? These are the best days of your life, obviously, you should be beaming with happiness.