I Am a Mother Who Regrets Her Abortion

From the Dirksen Senate Office Building, I walked up to the United States Supreme Court, until my toes kissed the first step. I stood gazing up at the impenetrable bronze doors.

Looking foolish with a piece of red tape covering my mouth and the word “Life” written on it, I prayed a silent, faith-filled prayer, the Life Band prayer: “Jesus, I plead your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God, end abortion and bring revival to America.”

As I prayed, I remembered that angry teenage girl I had been. I was sad for her, as if she never had been me. That young woman was gone. She had faced her Goliath, the abortion industry, and had fallen prey to it. She had lost that battle and was left in devastation and tears, and without her child.

 Good and wise, Father God sometimes allows us to make our mistakes and learn from them. Many of these mistakes break His heart—and have real, devastating consequences.

After my abortion, God allowed me to feel deep pain and sorrow because I had ignored His kind convictions and divine stop signs on the path to my horrible decision. (He even tried to stop me as I was in the clinic, preparing for the abortion.)

There was absolutely no part of God’s heart that condoned my decision to take the life of my child, yet He still loves me and has never forsaken me. He gave me free will and the choice to love and follow Him; therefore, He allowed me to walk down a road that not only broke His heart, but would soon also break my own heart.

He allowed me to reach the end of myself so that I could find Him. I am thankful for His unfailing mercy in the many rock-bottom moments of my life that followed my abortion. His mercy brought forth righteousness and wisdom in my life; like Job, without His divine intervention I would surely have perished.

So I closed my eyes as I stood next to dear friends at the Court. I could hear the pro-abortion mockers and antagonists behind us, but they were fading in the background. “It’s a woman’s right,” they chanted. The mocking continued, but my faith increased. I faced the giant again.

This time, in my spirit, in God, I found a place of solitude, peace, and confidence. The red tape covering my lips seeped purpose into every fiber of my being. I have prayed this faith-filled prayer hundreds, if not thousands, of times.

I have prayed in Silent Siege at the steps of the Supreme Court, at the steps of lower courts across the nation, and in front of abortion clinics. Whether I’m standing in front of our nation’s highest court or in the court of Heaven from inside my prayer room, I know there is victory. God is on the side of life.

Yet I still hear my accuser remind me (just as he did the first day I prayed this audacious prayer) that I am just a small, insignificant, stay-at-home mom. Who am I to believe that God will hear my prayers and will move mountains on my behalf? I hear the antagonists and I run, full-speed, to my Heavenly Father. Yet I believe.

I do believe that God hears my prayers and the prayers of hundreds of other women, asking Him to spare another woman and her baby from the devastation we have been through. I do believe that abortion will end because of the prayers of the saints. I have to believe it, because I have to have hope for America.

The Goliath of the abortion industry will not step aside easily. I am not naïve enough to believe that all abortion will cease at the sound of the gavel’s judgment. Even if abortion is made illegal, it is possible that abortions will continue illegally through stronger forms of “birth control” and “forced miscarriages.”

Nevertheless, I pray that one day our nation will break its agreement with the evil Goliath of abortion, and as a result millions of babies, women, men, and families will be saved. Women will be heard, we will hold our children in our arms, and the church will be called from the outfield up to bat.

God is already on the move. Despite the façade presented by the media and some political establishments, the abortion industry is weakening. We can see it crumbling. Through the ministry of Bound4LIFE International, thousands of believers all across our nation and internationally are praying for the end of abortion.

Bound4LIFE is mobilizing the church to step up to bat, with red Life Tape over our mouths, in front of our state capitols and neighborhood abortion clinics to silently pray. Other prayer ministries such as 40 Days for Life are also exponentially growing in numbers in front of abortion clinics and seeing miraculous results.

Babies are being saved, abortion clinics are closing at rapid rates, workers are leaving the industry and exposing the deception inside their walls, videos showing hellish practices within the abortion clinics have gone viral, pro-life legislation is being passed by more and more states, and popular opinion is swaying towards life.

This is thrilling! A great move of God is on the horizon, and He is calling our name to come with Him. The tide is turning, and I believe it is in direct conjunction with the Church returning to God in prayer and repentance.

This article is an excerpt used with permission from Created to Live: Becoming the Answer for an Abortion-Free Community (2017, Ambassador International). It also appeared at Bound4LIFE.com.

Cathy Harris
Cathy Harris
Cathy Harris is an author, certified prenatal educator, public speaker, and passionate pro-life voice. Most importantly, she is a wife and homeschooling mother to three energetic children. Learn about her work and ministry at CathyHarris.org. She and her husband Marcus raise their family in Manassas, Virginia.  

Related Posts


Recent Stories