Is Lying to Your Spouse Ever Okay?

So, I have a friend that lies to her spouse. 

There are certain places her spouse doesn’t want her to go, but she doesn’t like her spouse telling her what to do, so she goes anyways. And she just doesn’t tell him.

Or maybe she’ll say she’s going one place – and she really does – but then she leaves and goes somewhere else. All while neglecting to tell him about the second place.

Now, before you get too judgmental… (because yes, Christians are supposed to judge, but not without knowing the situation or doing it with the right attitude). Her situation isn’t as unique as you might think.

The truth is… pretty much all of us lie to our spouses on one occasion or another. Sometimes even regularly.

It may be a huge lie like an affair or how much we spend online shopping. Or a small lie like saying we’re fine when we’re not.

Have you ever:

  • Hidden your receipts so your husband wouldn’t know how much you spent or on what?
  • Closed out of an internet browser so he wouldn’t see what you were looking at?
  • Told him a story about your day, but purposely left out some pretty key details because you know they would make him mad?
  • Pretended to enjoy sex more than you really did to protect his ego?
  • Told him you LOVE his friend, his family, his new haircut or your new gift when it couldn’t be any further from the truth?

I’m going to go out on a limb and bet that you have. We all have.

And yet, Psalm 12:22 says:

“The Lord detests lying lips,
but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”

And what’s even more scary, Revelation lumps liars in with murderers. Yikes!

“Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.”

Whether it’s a big lie, a little lie or even a lie said with good intentions, God takes lying seriously. And it’s no surprise. Lying is a great way to erode your marriage. Here’s how.

1. Lying Destroys Intimacy

God designed marriage so that a man and a woman would become one. Every time you lie to your spouse, you destroy intimacy and put a distance in between you and your spouse that prevents this from happening. You set part of your life and your self aside and refuse to share. You can’t become one when you’re not all in.

2. It Sets You Up for More Lies in the Future

Every time you lie to your spouse and get away with it, it gets that much easier to lie again the next time. Not only do you not want to share the information you’ve already hidden, but you inevitably find more information you want to hide as well. In some instances, this can lead to some pretty big lies.

After all, no one starts out looking for an affair or to wrack up 30,000 in debt their husband doesn’t know about. It all starts with the decision to be dishonest once, and then snowballs from there.

Brittany - Equipping Godly Women
Brittany - Equipping Godly Women
A devoted Christian, wife and mother, Brittany loves helping other women grow in these roles as well. She does this primarily through her website,, where she challenges, encourages and equips Christian women to be ALL IN in faith and family. Brittany is also the author of Putting God First  and the creator of the Quiet Time Planning Guide, a free guide to help Christian women make regular Bible reading a priority.

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