As a parent of a teenage boy, I fully understand that NONE of us wants to believe or admit that our kids are searching the internet for pornography.
But statistics say they are, and I believe them. The porn industry (not to mention amateur pornographers) makes plenty of internet pornography free and easy to access so that your kids can access it while they’re young. Why? Well..because they know it’s addictive, and they are looking to build a steady base of life-long paying customers. One of the porn industry’s dirty little secrets is that they actually target kids, tagging hardcore porn videos with phrases like “Dora the Explorer” to lure kids in.
According to recent statistics from Google Analytics reported by Net Nanny, that plan is working well: the numbers say pornography searches increase by 4,700% when kids are using the internet in the hours after school ends.
4,700%!! Since at the time this particular article is being written, it is summer break and NO ONE is in school, parents need to pay particular attention to those numbers on porn searches after school. One can only assume that during summer break when your kids have access to their devices all day long, the numbers even out a bit (not that that is a GOOD thing!) Protect Young Eyes has an excellent article here on how Internet dangers increase during summer break months, and I encourage all of you to read it here.
Net Nanny also reports (and I’ve seen this same statistic reported from many reliable sources) that the average age a child now sees pornography is eleven – when most are not yet even in middle school. This is a full seven years before it’s even LEGAL for them to view pornography, yet the lack of regulation on the Internet at large and streaming apps like Musical.ly and Live.ly make it suuuuper easy to get to. (Seriously, my friend’s 5th grader was advised by a fellow 5th grader on the bus on how to find “extreme porn” on YouTube. These conversations happen within our kids’ social circles EVERY DAY.)
More chiling statistics reported by NetNanny say that only 3% of teenage boys and 17% of teenage girls have NOT seen online pornography. I don’t know about you, but those statistics scare the CRAP out of me, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep my kids in the minority here!
So, parents, what can YOU do to prevent your kids from being part of the huge spike in porn searches after school?
Well, I am so glad you asked. Here are a few ideas.
1) Filter, filter, filter.
I’ve already mentioned NetNanny here, and Protect Young Eyes recommends BARK as a filter for safe home internet use. My family personally has had good experiences with Circle by Disney, and I also recommend Covenant Eyes. Bottom line: there is NO shortage of good products out there to help you filter and monitor your kids’ devices, your home computers, and general internet use.
2) Have a family internet use contract and/or rules.
In our house, we have strict rules about the kids using the internet on mobile devices and computers. For instance, all internet use has to be in a shared space. No one is allowed to use the internet in their bedrooms with the door closed. Mom and Dad have all passwords and our kids know we can check all their browser histories and read all their text messages at any time. (Only our 14 year old has a phone, and it’s a “dumb” phone, but it does text.)
3) Check devices and computers likes it’s your job. BECAUSE IT IS.
I mentioned above that our kids know we will check up on them and look at what is on their devices and browser histories. But that knowledge means NOTHING if my husband and I don’t follow through. Sometimes (MANY times, I would say), kids see porn by accident, because sadly, it’s very easy for that to happen these days. Check those browser histories, because if they see something by accident they might STILL be scared to tell you. And if they’ve seen something, you NEED to talk to them about it. They need to process it, and also need to know that it’s not their fault. Consistently checking will also help you discern if there’s a PATTERN – and if what they’re looking is not actually an accident after all. Pornography is highly addictive, and even an accidental first look can definitely lead to a series of intentional searches for similar content. Our kids are too young and impulsive to clearly understand the consequences of their actions here. Their brains LITERALLY are not fully formed yet, so we have to be their protectors and advocates here – even when it is hard and messy.
4) Talk to your kids about the dangerous effects of pornography.
Ok, so maybe this should be point #1. Your kids need to know what porn IS and why it’s HARMFUL so that they can understand that you’re protecting them from something that is hurtful to them, not spoiling some good clean internet fun. Start these conversations young. We should all be having “the sex talk” with our kids as an ongoing conversation – not a “one and done” – and we can add in details at the appropriate developmental stage. If your kids is using a device with the internet, they at LEAST need to understand that pictures and videos of naked men and women are not good for them to see and that they should report it to you immediately. Your 6-year-old may not need to know ALL the “why” behind that, but your 12-year-old certainly DOES. So, don’t leave them in the dark parents! Help them understand that you want them to avoid pornography because you want them to have healthy relationships, body image and view of sex in the future.
After school porn searches and summer break porn searches don’t HAVE to be a part of your child’s life. Don’t believe the lie that your kids are “going to do it anyway.” Empower them with knowledge and protect them with filters and monitoring so you can help them learn to be the guardians of their hearts and eyes!
