She goes on to say that despite his talents and loving support network, Cody suffered, as so many of us do, from anxiety and depression. That isn’t what led him to use opioids, but it most likely led to him liking the way they made him feel. She goes on,
Like so many, his decent into addiction began with prescription drugs resulting from several sports injuries. After his one and only stint in treatment, he was clean and we had our boy back. Then, at a job he loved…..the worst scenario for someone in recovery, a horrible near death accident. Seven surgeries and daily doses of the strongest opioids available, for nearly 12 months. He struggled with the pain and tried to manage the medication. He knew he was in trouble, I knew he was in trouble.
For those doing the everyday hard word of recovery from opioid addiction, and accident or injury can be what pulls them back into active addiction. In Cody’s case, the injury with seven subsequent surgeries in a year was just too much. Bonnie describes the terrible day her son left them forever.
The day my boy left us, I walked out of my body and never went back. I remember hovering over my body, seeing myself sitting on the floor, seeing those around me talking-but not hearing a word. I thought to myself, “thank god, I’ve died too.” Then, I remembered my other son, my only other child, he would be getting out of school, I had to get to him before he saw all the commotion at our home. Just then, as if he knew, he called. “Mom, I’m done with practice, can you bring me a sub.” I told him he needed to come home. He said “why, is it my brother?” Before I could get a word out, the phone went dead. I will never forget the look on his face as he ran from his car to sit beside me, he took my hand, cried, and I knew at that moment, he was no longer 16, he was thrown into a nightmare that will haunt him forever.
Although again, I’ve never suffered this tragedy, Bonnie saying, “Thank God, I’ve died too,” when she found out her son was dead rings totally true to me. That’s something only a mother could feel, I believe. And her coming back to herself for the sake of her other child—that totally rings true as well.