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Why A Mother Doesn’t Want to Be Touched

Clint Edwards
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Why A Mother Doesn’t Want to Be Touched

I’d gotten home from work around 10 p.m. after a 14-hour day. It was the start of the term, and I was setting up some programs at the university. Mel, my wife, had been home all day with three sick, boogery, feverish kids.

I walked in, and Mel was at the table, eating cookies and milk while looking at a laptop. She was still in jeans and a t-shirt. Usually by this time of the day she is in PJs, but the fact that she hadn’t taken the time to unwind and undress told me she’d had a rough day.

After working 14 hours, the one thing I wanted was a kiss and to hold my wife. When I was in my 20s, this usually meant sex. But now, in my 30s, I’m more interested in simple physical contact with my wife. People often describe me as a people person, but honestly, it’s not true. Social interaction feels a lot like acting to me. I’m good at making jokes to disarm a person. But honestly, I often find chatting with others exhausting. With Mel, my wife, I don’t feel that. I feel a deep comfort in Mel’s arms.

There is also something about being at work, sitting across from people, chatting, legs crossed, arms folded, handshakes, and formality that makes me long for some form of real physical contact that I really only get from my wife.

I sat next to Mel, put my arms around her, and kissed her cheek. And as much as I wanted her to turn and embrace me, she didn’t. She kept her body slightly rigid, hands forward on the keyboard.

I pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I just spent all day with sick boogery kids clawing at me. I don’t want to be touched for a while. I just…want some space,” she said.

I felt offended. It made me feel like she didn’t love me. I was her husband of 10 years. She should want to be held by me…right? I wasn’t one of her children, I was her husband.

“I just wanted to hold you,” I said. “I’m not asking for sex, or anything. I’m too tired for that. I’m getting old, obviously. It’s been just a long day.”

At the mention of being held, Mel cringed a little. Once again, I was offended. I usually am when this happens. And it doesn’t happen all that often, but always more than I’d like. But it was late, and I didn’t want to fight.

“Fine,” I said.

This was not the first time Mel had said that she didn’t want to be touched because of the kids clawing at her all day. Honestly, I didn’t get it. I don’t know if I ever fully will. For me, as a man, it’s a difficult thing for me to wrap my head around. I always want to touch my wife. She is the most beautiful woman I know. So much of my attraction to her, my love for her, my passion for our relationship is manifested through physical interaction. At this stage in our marriage, it isn’t just about sex.

When she kisses me, I feel more confident in our relationship. I feel better about who I am as a man. This became particularly apparent in my 30s. I don’t feel as attractive as I once did. I have a difficult time keeping off weight. Not that a lot of women looked at me in the first place, but sometimes they did. But as I’ve gotten older, I don’t get that affirmation like I used to.

I’m also starting to watch a lot of my friends get divorced because they fell out of love. I worry about that. Falling out of love sounds sneaky and organic, like a weed that creeps into a flowerbed. Never in my life has physical interaction with my wife felt more needed as a confirmation that she still loves me. That she isn’t drifting away from our relationship because of the stress of raising a family.

When I read what I just wrote, it sounds whiny, but it’s the reality of who I have become in my 30s. I feel a deep need for my wife to kiss me and hold me.

We were both in bed now. It was almost 11, an hour after I got home. She slid in next to me, and I put my arm around her.

“It’s not you,” she said. “It’s just…I love the kids. I love you. But all three of them were sick, and I couldn’t do anything without the baby clawing at my leg whining, so I held her all day. And Norah, she just wanted to be snuggled.” She let out a breath. Then she went on, trying to describe how boogery, drooly, pukey children tugging at her body at her all day makes her want to crawl inside a bubble. “In the evening, after a long day with the kids, I just want a moment, an hour or so, to not be touched. To just spread out, and not worry about someone pawing at me. It’s not that I don’t love you, it’s just that these days with the kids feel like sensory overload.”

And as she spoke, I compared it to how tired social interaction wears me down. I understood what she was feeling just enough to realize that we were at an impasse.

“Does that make sense?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. “It does. I don’t like it, but I get it.” Then I told her about my day, and how, at the end of it, all I want is to be held.

“I’m not sure if any of that makes sense, but that’s how I feel.”

Mel crawled into the hook of my arm and rested on my shoulder. I put my arm around her, and we just stayed like that for a while, not speaking.

If you enjoyed this article, head over to like our Facebook Page, It’s Personal, an all-inclusive space to discuss marriage, divorce, sex, dating, and friendship.

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This is an abridged chapter from Clint’s hilarious new book “I’m Sorry…Love, Your Husband,” available now. 

Originally posted on November 14, 2025 @ 5:50 am

220 Charming Old Lady Names That Are Making a Comeback for Baby Girls

Janna Firestone
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220 Charming Old Lady Names That Are Making a Comeback for Baby Girls

As you’re choosing a name for your baby, you realize how important this decision is. When you toss around ideas, some names are quickly discarded because of a memory — an unkind classmate had that same name. And, you don’t want to choose a super-common name, either. So, why not look at timeless old lady names?

It seems from car designs to fashion, the trendy thing to do is “go retro.” That is, look to the past and reuse or redesign what has been done. So, sassy old lady names might just be what you’re considering.

How far back do you want to go? The oldest name on record for a woman, as told by oldest.org, was Neithhotep. From ancient Egypt (around 3100 BCE), Neithhotep was the first recorded name of a woman. Because of the size of her tomb, Neithhotep, is understood to be a lady of importance. She was the queen of either Narmer or his successor, Hor-Aha.

What’s in a Baby Name?

We all know that names matter. The barista writes your name on your cup (and sometimes spells it correctly) as you order a fancy coffee to-go. And, a host takes your name as you wait for a table at your favorite restaurant. Loved ones write your name on a card or speak it out loud with adoration.

God created each of us uniquely and in His image. While our name is a label of who we are, it doesn’t truly define us. For, our identity is in Christ. Each of us is a beloved child of God. And, whether our name is incredibly common or beautifully rare, our identity in Christ stays the same.

“But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, ‘Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.'” Isaiah 43:1

God knows each of us by name. And, there were other times people were called by name in the Bible. The morning that Jesus rose from the dead, He called Mary by name. It wasn’t until He spoke her name that she recognized Him. John 20:16

Enjoy the research and process of choosing a name for your little one. At this point, only God knows if she’ll be strong, compassionate, creative, relational, or witty (or a delightful combination). Consider these names — or have a good laugh as you move on to the next name.

 

5 Biblical Old Lady Names for Babies

We’re familiar with Eve, Mary, and Sarah, but have you considered some of the lesser-known old woman names in the Bible? Those at flo.health, compiled 70 biblical old female names.

  1. Abilene: Meaning grass
  2. Eunice: Meaning good victory
  3. Jewel: Meaning delight
  4. Tereh: Meaning earth
  5. Zibiah: Meaning bird

5 Ancient Greek Names for Baby Girls

Whether you’re considering cute old lady names or something a bit more modern, consider these names from ancient Greece. Oldest.org, compiled 25 old names for girls, and here are just five of them.

  1. Acantha: Meaning prickle or thorn. In Greek mythology, there was a nypmh who was loved by Apollo and given this name.
  2. Calliope: Meaning beautiful voice.
  3. Echo: In Greek mythology, Echo’s love for Narcissus was not returned. Only her voice was left when she faded from existence.
  4. Kore: Meaning maiden.
  5. Xanthe: Meaning yellow or golden. Xanthe is the goddess of agriculture and harvesting.

Originally posted on November 15, 2025 @ 5:07 am

In Case You Didn’t Know, I Unfriended You. Here’s Why.

Carrie Cariello
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In Case You Didn’t Know, I Unfriended You. Here’s Why.

You may not know this, but a couple of months ago I un-friended you on Facebook.

I mean, we weren’t exactly friends in the regular sense. We never met for coffee or talked on the phone or texted each other. We don’t even live in the same state, and I haven’t seen you in over ten years.

I did enjoy scrolling through my newsfeed and seeing your name pop up every once in a while, and looking at pictures of your family and your dog.

But then one day you posted a joke about someone riding a short bus, and my stomach kind of flipped. I was surprised, and sad.

Did you know my son Jack has autism?

Maybe you didn’t. You only met him once, when he was less than a year old and we hadn’t yet heard the diagnosis that would change our lives forever.

Mrs. Cariello? I believe your son has something called Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I bet your children are healthy and whole and they would never flap their hands or yell out f&^% when the grocery store doesn’t have the right kind of frosting.

He is healthy.

He is whole.

He does flap his hands and yell bad swear words in the grocery store.

But he does other stuff, too.

He bakes cakes and he puts his hands over his ears when fire trucks go by and at bedtime he lines six pillows along the side of his bed. I don’t know why.

Every morning he takes a bath at exactly 6:30 am, and then he checks the battery on my laptop. If it’s low, he plugs it in for me. Then he makes himself breakfast—this week it’s two egg whites with toast because he heard on the radio that egg yolks are bad for your cholesterol.

He is funny and interesting and surprising and mysterious.

Here’s the thing, though. I’m not interested in convincing you to like him.

I’m only interested in convincing you to step back, and make room for him.

Did you know we have to point things out to him all day long? I don’t mean trains and birds and little brown puppies walking down the street—although we used to have to point stuff like that out when he was little, so he would look at us and then look at the puppy and realize we were talking to him.

Jack, Jack! Look at me. Look at Mommy. Do you see the dog? Woof-woof, dog!

Now we have to actually name feelings and emotions for him; things you and I take for granted because we can figure out if someone is angry or frustrated or worried by the way they twist their mouth or move their eyebrows.

Jack, Jack! Look at me. Look at Mommy. I am angry now. I am angry you said a bad word.

And when we’re not pointing out puppies or trying to explain what it means when we frown, we have to name his own internal dialogue—his own behavior—so he may one day recognize it for himself. In a way, we are his mirror.

Jack, Jack! Look at me. Look at Mommy. You are jumping a lot. How does your body feel?

Did you know how hard it is to raise a son who has autism?

Constantly, I have to watch him to make sure his new medication isn’t making him feel depressed and I worry if he’s sleeping enough and I think about how he’ll ever drive a car or manage a checking account.

Did you know how hard it is to be a child with autism?

Can you imagine what it’s like to exist in a perpetually challenging world and try to figure out all the complicated rules and understand why people say avocados cost an arm and a leg when all they really mean is that guacamole is expensive?

He is my son. What you say, and write, and think about him—and others like him—matters.

He matters.

Trying to convince people of this is like laying bricks in a long, crooked line. They are jagged, and heavy. Many are chipped at the corners, and they feel dusty and dry when I turn them over in my hands. I’m not sure what I’m building exactly, but I cannot stop.

This is why I can’t be friends with you Facebook. Because of the bricks.

I want you to know I believe in your goodness.

I have to, you see. I have to believe that he has a chance in this world and people won’t snicker when he walks by or toss his job application into the wastebasket because he doesn’t know how to drive. Otherwise I will curl up into the fetal position on my bed, and never leave my house.

Please, be mindful of the things you say. Be mindful of the things you write, and post, and share. If you’re not sure whether a joke is funny, or hurtful, or mean, pause for a moment. Think of a boy named Jack.

Picture his soft brown hair, and his blue eyes, and the way his glasses slide down his nose.

Picture the way he walks to the end of our driveway every morning and stands by the mailbox and waits, with his head down, for the short bus to turn the corner and come to a stop.

Picture a path made out of bricks. At first, it looks like a path to nowhere–little more than a haphazard road without destination. But if you follow it carefully, if you step around the chipped corners and the cracked edges, you will find it leads to a clearing. In this clearing stands a house.

This house is sturdy and strong. Like the path, it too is made of bricks. And inside, there is enough room for everyone.

#houseofjack

Jack and his sister, Rose.

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This article originally appeared at CarrieCariello.com.

Originally posted on November 16, 2025 @ 5:14 am

Here’s Why We Can’t Parent the Way Our Parents Did

Kate Meier
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Here’s Why We Can’t Parent the Way Our Parents Did

I often hear parents from older generations marvel at the “tools” we younger mothers and fathers have: the battery-operated swings, the iPads, the bottle warmers, the terrifying Bumbos.

“What will they think of next?” they say. “If only I had things like that when I was a mother.”

In truth, I think my parents had it better. I’m not alone in that sentiment.

In her piece, “What Would My Mom Do (Drink Tab and Lock Us Outside)”, author Jen Hatmaker marvels at a world in which her mother would usher her and her siblings out the door and expect them to find all-day, unsupervised entertainment outdoors.

I recently heard one of my writing heroes, Dave Barry, discuss how happy his parents were because they didn’t hover over their children every waking moment. Mr. Barry said it was the Depression-era parents who did it best because they prioritized their own happiness. He said his generation – my mother’s generation – is responsible for starting the phenomenon known as helicopter parenting.

I’ll see him a helicopter parent and raise him the helicopter society that parents in my generation have come to know.

The problem isn’t that younger parents DON’T want our children to have childhoods like we did; it’s that in many ways, we CAN’T let them have those childhoods.

Why?

Because peanut butter has been outlawed.

I’m told this changes as my children get older, but for now, I have to get a little more creative than the standard PB&J my mother packed for us every day. Not only am I searching for peanut butter substitutes that don’t taste like feet (looking at you, SunButter), but I’m competing with the social media barrage of picture-perfect school lunches filled with stuff my kids would never eat, like red peppers and hummus. I mean, whatever, I get it that some kids will die if they are exposed to peanut butter. My point is that my mom could shut her eyes, grab whatever her already-full hands could hold, shove it in a paper bag and send us out the door. I have to scrutinize every element to make sure it’s nut-free and pack it in an eco-friendly container because HEAVEN FORBID I would be so wasteful as to use paper bags.

Because you can’t leave your kids in the car.

I’m not talking 90-degree-weather-stranded-in-a-parking-lot kind of abandonment. I mean that I can’t run in to pay for gas and leave my kids strapped safely into a locked vehicle. If I do, some agents from Social Services will be at my home and I’ll either lose my kids or have to commit umpteen hours of community service.

Originally posted on November 17, 2025 @ 5:18 am

15 Ways to Break Your Child’s Heart (Without Realizing It)

Lori Wildenberg
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15 Ways to Break Your Child’s Heart (Without Realizing It)

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Working with parents and kids I have seen the little ones (and older kids) totally deflate when mom or dad parents or interacts a particular way.  There are 15 arrows that always pierce the tender hearts of our kids. Let’s put these weapons down.

If you want to break your child’s heart and crush his spirit, do these 15 things: 

  1. Discipline in anger. “You are grounded for life.”
  2. Criticize rather than correct. “That’s a stupid way to solve that problem.”
  3. Lecture rather than discuss. “Blah, blah, blah…”
  4. Express unreasonable expectations.  “You are two and you need to sit perfectly still during church.”
  5. Compare one sibling to another. “Your sister was able to ______.”
  6. Bring up past failures. “Remember when you _______.”
  7. Use sarcasm. “Yah, right, you are so smart.”
  8. Kill joy. “You could have done even better if you had_______.”
  9. Shame. “You are so clumsy.”
  10. Broadcast failures. “You can’t believe what my son did.”
  11. Blame. “It’s your fault I ran the red light.”
  12. Present yourself as perfect. “When I was your age I never _______.”
  13. Steal success. “You got your talent from my side of the family.”
  14. Don’t admit wrong doing.“I’m the parent. I’m always right.”
  15. Never ask for forgiveness.  (Ditto number 13.)

As parents we typically have two goals, a short term goal (typically behavior) and a long term goal ( character building). In my parenting courses I encourage moms (and dads) to use a positive, proactive, and purposeful approach with their kiddos. Work toward training kids regarding the preferred behavior and start providing opportunities to grow desirable character traits in those moments.

The traits of humility, confidence, empathy, and kindness can be encouraged and grown in our kids when we demonstrate them ourselves, pray for those qualities in ourselves and in our kids, and give our kids the support they need to develop those traits.

We are holding our child’s heart and spirit in our hands. Let’s hold on firmly and tenderly so he or she can flourish to be the person God created him or her to be. Even when we mess up it isn’t too late— we can always adjust our approach by asking for forgiveness and beginning anew today.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

This article originally appeared at The Mom Initiative.

Originally posted on November 18, 2025 @ 5:27 am

The Bedtime Hoops: 4 Important Questions to Ask Kids at Bedtime

Christine Leeb
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The Bedtime Hoops: 4 Important Questions to Ask Kids at Bedtime

4 Important Questions to Ask Kids at Bedtime

I love my kids, but by bedtime, I’m just exhausted.  At 8pm, my patience shuts off.  It’s like I have some sort of glitch in my mommy code, or maybe I just missed the patience upgrade with each kid or something?

So when I have to jump through so many drinks-of-water hoops, tickle hoops, tuck-in hoops, bedtime-song hoops, pee-pee hoops, and brush-your-freaking-teeth-already hoops, I feel that if they don’t get away from me as soon as possible, I’m going to jump through the I’ve-lost-my-mind hoop and escape into a dimension where only brownies, beaches, and books exist.

But that’s not reality! (Oh how I wish it was sometimes though—minus the losing my mind hoop). The reality is that motherhood doesn’t stop at 8pm.  And even though some of the hoops I jump through annoy me, there are four hoops that I would never miss jumping through no matter how tired or impatient I feel…The 4 questions to ask kids at bedtime.

questions to ask kids

I started asking my kids these four questions every night and it has changed our relationship.  It has brought us closer.  It has created a more positive shift in their focus throughout their day and in mine.

4 Questions to Ask Kids at Bedtime

1. What was your favorite part about your day? 

This question allows us to jump through the hoop of positivity together.  It helps my children focus on the best parts of their day, and gives us another opportunity to reflect on them, laugh even more about them, and find joy in those special moments one more time before they close their eyes.

2. What was your least favorite part about your day? 

This question allows us to jump through the hoop of reality together.  No one is perfect.  Everyone makes mistakes, so it’s great to have the opportunity to be real and talk about those things in their day that didn’t go well—bad choices, disrespect, being irresponsible.  This question has allowed for me to model unconditional love and has given me many second-chance teachable moments.  Even if I lost my temper the first time around, I have one more chance to walk them through what they should have done differently.  It’s great for kids to be reminded that tomorrow is a new day to try again.

questions to ask kids

3. Do you have any questions about your day?

This question allows us to jump through the honesty hoop together.  It establishes a habit of always letting them know that they can ask me anything and can trust me to listen and love.  It shows them that I’m a “safe” person who isn’t going to judge or get angry or be upset if they want to talk about the tough stuff.

4. How did you show kindness or love today?

This question allows us to jump through the integrity hoop together.  It encourages them to be kind and loving to others even when no one is watching.  It is the most powerful, life-changing question I have asked!  My kids have learned just how simple it is and how capable they are of showing kindness or love every single day.  When I first started asking this question, my eight year old had trouble coming up with an answer, so I would step in to tell what I saw him do–he was thoughtful to take his plate to the sink, he played with his sister nicely, he gave his little brother a turn with his squirt gun, he washed his hands the first time I asked him to.  Creating an awareness of the little ways that he can show kindness and love has empowered him to do even more.  Plus, I find myself looking for those positive things that each child does throughout the day so I can share it with them that night.  They love hearing all the great things they’ve done.  Kindness and love…this is the focus I want my kids to have throughout their day!

The 4 questions to ask kids at bedtime have helped me learn more about my kids: baseball game play-by-plays, storm fears, favorite colors and movies. But I have also taught more to my kids:  answering questions about abortion, smoking, appreciating the differences in others and I’ll never forget the night we cried together about a little boy in a wheel chair.

Jumping through the 4-Hoops questions to ask kids about positivity, reality, honesty, and integrity every night, I have laughed louder, cried more, snuggled closer, and taught lessons about life that I would not have had the opportunity to do in the busyness of the day.  Dear mom, at bedtime, won’t you join me in fixing that glitch in your mommy code, upgrading your patience level, bending your knees, and jumping through these four extra hoops with me every night too?  I promise that these are the questions to ask your kids, and the hoops you will never regret jumping through for them.

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This post originally appeared at Her View From Home, published with permission.

Originally posted on November 19, 2025 @ 5:07 am

8 Things Boy Moms Should Know About Their Sons

Michelle Caskey
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8 Things Boy Moms Should Know About Their Sons

Contrary to popular opinion in our modern society, boys and girls are wired differently.  God has created men for different purposes than women.  This isn’t to say that men are better than women or vice versa.  Just different.  And we would be wise to recognize these differences and to celebrate them rather than trying to pretend that they aren’t there or trying to make them go away.

I was fortunate to hear Dr. Gregory Jantz on a recent Focus on the Family episode talking about his book, Raising Boys by Design.  Dr. Jantz is a licensed mental health counselor who advocates treating the whole person rather than just their symptoms.  His book is based on the latest brain science research as well as on timeless truths from the Bible.

During the program, Dr. Jantz said that if we want our boys to become all that God has created them to be, it’s important for us to understand how we can best connect with them and nurture their God-given talents and abilities.

Some of the points Dr. Jantz spoke about were new to me.  Some of them corroborated points I’ve been trying to make on my blog for a long time.  But all of his advice was extremely useful when it comes to understanding our sons and how best to relate to them.  There are always exceptions to every rule, however these qualities are good starting points when we are trying to better connect with our sons.

Here are 8 Important Things to Understand About Our Sons:

1 – Their brains work differently

Sometimes, it’s difficult for us moms to understand what is going on in our son’s mind, and that is because their brains don’t work the same way that ours do.  First, they benefit from lots of movement while they are learning.  It’s important for us to try to make their lessons active.  Give them plenty of brain breaks.  And we should try to keep their lessons on the shorter side rather than droning on and on.

Another important point is that boys generally have fewer pathways connecting the left and right hemispheres of their brain than do girls.  This makes them think sequentially and less able to multi-task.  If you find your son getting confused or forgetting what you’ve asked him to do, try giving him one thing to process at a time.  Keep it simple.

2 – They need to move

It’s not unusual to see boys tapping their pencils, bouncing their foot, fiddling with objects, pacing the floor, or squirming in their seats.  This is because boys use movement to keep themselves awake and alert.  Rather than having your son sit on a chair, consider getting him a ball chair.  Allow him to have an object in his hands to mess with while he does his work.

If you want to have a conversation with your son, do something with him at the same time. Go for a walk, play catch, do something besides just sitting there and staring at him.

3 – They need us to believe in them

Males have fragile egos.  They need us to remind them that they are special and that God has a plan for their lives.  They need us to believe in them.

Be sure to speak positive words over your son – not just for what he does but for who he is.  When you tuck him into bed at night, remind him that God has designed him a specific way for a purpose.  Our sons need our encouragement.

4 – They benefit from mentors

Boys learn so much from their parents, however, they also benefit greatly from non-family members who are willing to speak truth into their lives.  This can come from a coach, a pastor, or a trusted friend.  When a boy has a mentor who can see value in how God made him, this can increase his confidence immeasurably.

It’s also extremely beneficial for parents to have someone else backing up what they are trying to tell their sons.  You want the coolest people they know to agree with your values.  Be intentional about helping your son to form these kinds of relationships.

Originally posted on November 19, 2025 @ 5:36 am

To the Stay at Home Mom Who Is Wasting Her Life

Marian Vischer
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To the Stay at Home Mom Who Is Wasting Her Life

Becoming a stay at home mom was was something I had not even considered.

“There are a thousand thousand reasons to live this life, every one of them sufficient.” – Marilynne Robinson

When the baby of our family was born over nine years ago, I had a seven-year-old and a four-year-old.

With seven plus years of motherhood under my belt, I’d learned a few lessons about letting go, chilling out, and realizing that it’s all going to be okay. In light of this hard-won Zen version of myself, I decided to enjoy my third baby like nobody’s business.

I would not fret. I would not pursue unnecessary work or projects. I would bask in this last brief season of babyhood as a stay at home mom and love on my darling boy whose very name means “mercy.”

Mercy. That’s what he meant to my husband and me.

For a very long season, I assumed that I wouldn’t have another baby. My marriage had almost ended. I was working full-time. Life was terribly messy.

And then, it wasn’t.

God breathed compassion into our story.

Our third child represented the undeserved gift of new life for our family and I resolved to enjoy his babyhood in a way that my angsty, younger-mom self wasn’t able to do with my other children.

Today he is a curly-headed, third-grade boy with a perfect sprinkle of freckles across his nose. He’s much too big for me to carry and he talks like a teenager, compliments of his older brother and sister.

I’m sure his babyhood seemed like a long stretch of time when we were in it — short nights, ear infections, teething, smeared pureed food in his hair. I can barely remember those episodes now. What I do remember is that I received that short season of my life as a gift.

I devoted myself to adoring him.

Much of my life’s work up to that point seemed irrelevant. My education, my career, all the books I’d read, the ambition I’d cultivated — I didn’t technically need any of those things to be an adoring mother.

Sometimes I wondered if I’d wasted the gifts I’d so earnestly stored up.

I’ve been many different moms over the last sixteen years.

Grad school mom, part-time working mom, full-time working mom, homeschool mom, stay at home mom, work-from-home mom, single mom.

I don’t feel like I’ve ever gotten it quite right.

As I look back across my story as a mother, the one chapter that feels most “right” to me is the one I just told you about — that one to two year season when I cherished my last baby with lavish intention as a stay at home mom. I did not call it wasteful. I called it beautiful.

Lest you think I’m someone who believes motherhood is my highest calling and the one thing I was put on this earth to do — I assure you, I am not that person. Though I’ve always longed to be a mother and I was over the moon about each one of my babies, reconciling family with personal ambition has been one of the greatest struggles and missions of my life.

Originally posted on November 20, 2025 @ 5:01 am

Dear Teenage Son: Be Patient With Me As I Let Go

Heather Riggleman
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Dear Teenage Son: Be Patient With Me As I Let Go

To My Son,  

It’s the weekend in our new small, country town and your new friends are here. You’re surrounded by a whole crew of kids I haven’t met, and it brings tears to my eyes to see you in your element. I see how you handle them with grace and ease. Yet, when they aren’t looking, you look at me to see if I approve or disapprove. Or maybe you’re worrying that I might try to embarrass you on purpose because that’s a running joke we have. 

I assure you, I wont. I’m in awe of you and how you’re finding your way in this world. And it blows my mind. 

And I’m recognizing the signs. I’ve done this once before with your sister. She’s twenty-one now and on her own. Even back then, I wasn’t ready. And I thought it would be easier the second time around. But feels so new and fresh again. I can’t find my feet and I feel so wobbly. 

It’s time to let go and I’m not ready. But you are. That’s the way of motherhood. Letting go when we don’t want to. I know it’s time. I know you’re growing and becoming. 

And sometimes it’s hard for you but more for me; oh darling, hear me out. 

For years, I never wanted kids. I didn’t want to be tied down. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to see the dreams in my heart come to life. I didn’t want to give up my freedom. And I thought one was enough. But, then I dreamed about you. 

I dreamed of your bright blue eyes. I saw the dimples in your chubby cheeks. I saw how you adored me with that sparkle in your eye as your chubby hands reached for me and how you would always reach for me. 

For seven years I would dream of you as my heart broke month after month when I found out you wouldn’t be gracing us with your presence just yet. But one night as your father and I put your big sis to bed, she said a prayer, ever so innocently. 

She stated with confidence and truth that God would answer her prayers even if he had not answered mine. I dreamed of you as I prayed for God to answer her prayers. 

And when those two pink lines confirmed you had taken up residence in my womb, I never felt such purpose or anticipation. I loved you through swollen, sore breasts. I loved you when I was bent over the toilet until there was nothing left. I loved you through the fog and extreme exhaustion that I didn’t know how I was going to make it through another hour.

I loved you through the stretch marks and hospital stays and telling your father I needed more tacos at midnight. I dreamed of you as I held my belly and counted contractions. I loved you when I gave myself over to something so out of my control. I loved you as I pushed through every contraction, every pain, and fear. I dreamed of you through the chaos as the medical team fought for your life. I rallied for your first breath and your first cry because I knew this world needed your presence even though it didn’t know yet you existed. 

And finally, there you were. On my chest, looking up at me with angry, lustful cries for warmth, understanding, and air. 

Over the years, you grew and so did I. My dreams changed and they revolved around creating a world for you and your siblings. 

Everyday I doubted myself. Especially when your will became your own. The good choices and the bad choices. The ones that gave away to sleepless nights when I questioned if I was the mom you needed me to be. 

And each new stage of your life was a new phase of me questioning how to be the person you needed me to be. Through the thick of your toddler years. Even when you let go of my hand in favor of your daddy’s. And even on the first day of school and even when you were grounded for the first time. Or when you walked out onto the wrestling mat. All these moments were collected like 1,000 tiny fragments in my heart. 

Originally posted on November 21, 2025 @ 5:07 am

Couple Hides $1K Cash Inside Baby Products at Target to Help New Parents and Spread Kindness

Bri Lamm
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Couple Hides $1K Cash Inside Baby Products at Target to Help New Parents and Spread Kindness

Becoming a new parent can be a tough feat. On top of your world being turned upside down by 8 pounds of pure bliss, and the unprecedented sleep deprivation, the financial burden of bringing home baby can often be one of the most difficult tolls that new parents face.

A California couple who “struggled to make ends meet” after welcoming their first child is looking to help lift the financial burden and spread kindness among new parents in a sweet and surprising way.

Krystal Duhaney and her husband Patrick recently set out to bless new parents by leaving $1,000 worth of cash inside of different baby products at various Target stores in Southern California.

Krystal, who is the founder of Milky Mama, a company that provides breastfeeding support to parents around the world, first shared about the couples’ special trip to Target in an Instagram post in April.

In the post, Krystal explains that she knows first-hand the financial struggles that often come with welcoming a baby. Now that she owns a successful business, she and Patrick decided to give back in a special way.

The video shows the couple slipping cash into diaper boxes and unopened formula lids.

“We hope that the parents that purchase these items have a brighter day when they find our gifts,” she wrote in the caption.

In the month since Krystal first posted about their efforts to spread kindness, the video has gone viral, racking in hundreds of comments full of praise, gratitude, and stories of similar struggles.

“Wow! That is so awesome! Bless you and your family! This is beautiful. We need more people like you in this world,” one commenter wrote.

“This is absolutely incredible! It gives me tears to think of a potential parent in need opening this. You’ve inspired me to do the same! God bless you!!” added another.

According to the video, Krystal and Patrick made trips to three different Targets in the SoCal area.

“We really wanted to make things a little easier,” she told KABC. “Hopefully brighten their day and hopefully inspire others to kind of, you know, spread joy and kindness.”

Krystal says she hopes their gesture will inspire their children, and people everywhere to be kind to one another.

“As parents raising two young children, it’s really important for us to let our children know… kindness matters and that you never know what somebody’s going through,” she told KABC.

Originally posted on November 22, 2025 @ 5:12 am

Billie Eilish Says She Started Watching Porn at 11: ‘It Really Destroyed My Brain’

Bri Lamm
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Billie Eilish Says She Started Watching Porn at 11: ‘It Really Destroyed My Brain’

Billie Eilish revealed in an interview this week that she started watching pornography at a young age, something she feels “incredibly devastated” about.

“As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace. I used to watch a lot of porn, to be honest. I started watching porn when I was like 11,” Eilish told Howard Stern on SiriusXM’s The Howard Stern Show. “I think it really destroyed my brain and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn.”

The 19-year-old said she first began watching porn because it made her feel like “one of the guys.” Now she believes watching violent pornography caused her to suffer from sleep paralysis and night terrors.

She also said it distorted her view of sex and relationships.

“The first few times I, you know, had sex, I was not saying no to things that were not good. It was because I thought that’s what I was supposed to be attracted to,” Eilish said.

“Women’s bodies don’t look like that. We don’t come like that,” she added. “I’m so angry that porn is so loved, and I’m so angry at myself for thinking that it was OK.”

Billie Eilish is the statistic, not the exception.

Statistics suggest that the average age of exposure to pornography in the U.S. is 11 years old.

In a survey of hundreds of college students, 93 percent of boys and 62 percent of girls said they were exposed to pornography before they turned 18.

According to Covenant Eyes, 1 in 5 mobile searches are for pornography.

A 2014 survey by the National Union of Students found that 60 percent of students surveyed said they watch porn in order to learn more about sex and learn about gaps in their sexual education, even though 75 percent admitted porn creates unrealistic expectations.

And a 2021 Journal of Health Communication says that sexual aggression is now widely recognized as a public health crisis.

As parents, we don’t need statistics to prove that porn is wherever our children are. It’s a multi-billion dollar a year industry that seeks to capture young eyes.

Earlier this year, Netflix’s Bridgerton racked up a whopping 82 million views in its first month on the platform. It also roped an entire generation of tweens, teens, and their parents into pornography in just the first two minutes. And again in each episode throughout the series.

Rated TV-MA for mature audiences, Bridgerton is pornography disguised as a thrilling period piece, and now widely accepted among youths and parents alike. It’s not limited to Bridgerton, or even Netflix. This is happening everywhere.

We have to do better, friends. A TV rating means nothing when it comes to our children’s souls. Age-appropriateness does not equate to righteousness. Let’s lead our children well, and protect the young eyes in our households. The future of our world literally depends on it.

For resources on how to block porn on any device for free, and other tools for combatting pornography in your home, visit protectyoungeyes.com.

Originally posted on November 23, 2025 @ 5:36 am

‘We Have No Visible Finish Line’—The Case for Why Moms Are so Burnt Out

Suka Nasrallah
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‘We Have No Visible Finish Line’—The Case for Why Moms Are so Burnt Out

67 times.

My son called for me 67 times while I was in the shower.

Mind you I started counting halfway in, as a way to keep myself calm and not scream back, so surely it was more than 67 times.

But for the sake of transparency, 67 times.

67 times I listened to him yell ‘mama’ and bang on the bathroom door.

While I stood under the hot water drowning in my tears because I couldn’t bear the sound of his voice anymore and I had no will to reply.

I had no will to keep a conversation going while I was in the shower.

I had no will to keep a conversation going when I desperately needed a few minutes to myself.

Because the coffee just didn’t do it and it was barely 9 a.m.

Because they had been up since 6:45 that morning shouting demands at me.

All I wanted was 10 minutes to myself, but clearly that was too much to ask.

67 times.

Mama
Mama
Mama
Mama
Mama

67 times that word rang in my ears.

This is why mothers are so touched out.

This is why we stay awake so late knowing we’re going to regret it in the morning.

This is why we are always quick to snap.

This is why we are so sensitive.

Because we are desensitized.

We are numb.

We are so beyond worn out,

Burnt out,

Drained,

Struggling,

Misunderstood,

Being needed all the time is simply draining, and a mother never stops being needed.

We have no visible finish line.

***

This post originally appeared on Facebook, published with permission. 

Originally posted on November 24, 2025 @ 5:37 am

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